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Friday, June 24, 2011

Mark Twain Quotes

MarkTwain
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.
- Mark Twain | Ability and Achievement Quotes

Put all thine eggs in one basket and - watch that basket.
- Mark Twain | Advice Quotes

Fewer things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain | Advice Quotes

Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the lash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
- Mark Twain | Animals Quotes

That kind of so-called housekeeping where they have six Bibles and no cork-screw.
- Mark Twain | The Bible Quotes

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.
- Mark Twain | Books and Reading Quotes

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
- Mark Twain | Character and Personality Quotes

I was born modest; not all over, but in spots.
- Mark Twain | Character and Personality Quotes

Ethical man - a Christian holding four aces.
- Mark Twain | Christians and Christianity Quotes

There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.
- Mark Twain | Consistency Quotes

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain | Courage and Bravery Quotes

Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.
- Mark Twain | Critics and Criticism Quotes

Habit is habit, and not to be thrown out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain | Habit and Tradition Quotes

Have a place for everything and keep the things somewheres else. That is not advice, it is merely custom.
- Mark Twain | Habit and Tradition Quotes

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.
- Mark Twain | Death and Dying Quotes

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
- Mark Twain | Fear Quotes

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
- Mark Twain | Fools and Foolishness Quotes

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And ain't that a big enough majority for any town?
- Mark Twain | Fools and Foolishness Quotes

We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents.
- Mark Twain | Hell and the Devil Quotes

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.
- Mark Twain | Honesty Quotes

It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
- Mark Twain | Honour Quotes

I was born modest; not all over, but in spots.
- Mark Twain | Human Relations Quotes

Fewer things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain | Imitation Quotes

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.
- Mark Twain | Insults and Calumny Quotes

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain | Life Quotes

Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man - the biography of the man himself cannot be written.
- Mark Twain | Literature Quotes

It isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
- Mark Twain | Memory Quotes

In his private heart no man much respects himself.
- Mark Twain | Men Quotes

Make money and the whole world will conspire to call you a gentleman.
- Mark Twain | Money Quotes

In statesmanship get formalities right, never mind about the moralities.
- Mark Twain | Morality and Ethics Quotes

Richard Wagner, a musician who wrote music which is better than it sounds.
- Mark Twain | Music Quotes

What a good thing Adam had - when he said a good thing, he knew nobody had said it before.
- Mark Twain | Originality Quotes

Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man.
- Mark Twain | Patriotism and Nationalism Quotes

The Creator made Italy with designs by Michelangelo.
- Mark Twain | Patriotism and Nationalism Quotes

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
- Mark Twain | Politeness and Manners Quotes

The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.
- Mark Twain | Politics Quotes

I can live for two months on a good compliment.
- Mark Twain | Praise and Flattery Quotes

In prayer we call ourselves 'worms of the dust', but it is only on a sort of tacit understanding that the remark shall not be taken at par.
- Mark Twain | Prayer Quotes

In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
- Mark Twain | Prayer Quotes

We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change places with an easy and blessed facility.
- Mark Twain | Prejudice and Bigotry Quotes

Get your facts first, and then you can distort 'em as much as you please.
- Mark Twain | Proof and Certainty Quotes

When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain | Sanity and Insanity Quotes

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
- Mark Twain | Self and Self-Knowledge Quotes

The pause - that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, howsoever felicitous, could accomplish it.
- Mark Twain | Silence Quotes

Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain | Sport Quotes

There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
- Mark Twain | Temptation Quotes

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
- Mark Twain | Travel and Travellers Quotes

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness.
- Mark Twain | Travel and Travellers Quotes

There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage.
- Mark Twain | Travel and Travellers Quotes

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain | Truth Quotes

I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
- Mark Twain | Wealth Quotes

I wish to become rich, so that I can instruct the people and glorify honest poverty a little, like those kind-hearted, fat, benevolent people do.
- Mark Twain | Wealth Quotes

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there, lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stovelid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again - and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.
- Mark Twain | Wisdom Quotes

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.
- Mark Twain | Wit Quotes

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
- Mark Twain | Words and Language Quotes

In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer.
- Mark Twain | Words and Language Quotes

I conceive that the right way to write a story for boys is to write so that it will not only interest boys but strongly interest any man who has ever been a boy. That immensely enlarges the audience.
- Mark Twain | Writers and Writing Quotes

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain | Youth Quotes

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
- Mark Twain | Youth Quotes

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
- Mark Twain | Friendship in Bad Times Quotes

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
- Mark Twain | Happiness Quotes

To be busy is man's only happiness.
- Mark Twain | Happiness Quotes

To get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
- Mark Twain | Happiness Quotes

Happiness is a Swedish sunset; it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it.
- Mark Twain | Happiness Quotes

The fragrance of the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.
- Mark Twain | Forgiveness Quotes

To be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth. As long as one sorely needs a certain additional amount, that man isn't rich.
- Mark Twain | Forgiveness Quotes

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
- Mark Twain | Helping Other People Quotes

The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up.
- Mark Twain | Helping Other People Quotes

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
- Mark Twain | Friendship Quotes

The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong. Nearly everybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain | Friendship Quotes

Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie-I found that out.
- Mark Twain | Prayer Quotes

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
- Mark Twain | Self-Acceptance Quotes

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.
- Mark Twain | Self-Acceptance Quotes

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.
- Mark Twain | Self-Confidence Quotes

Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your conviction is to be an unqualified and excusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may.
- Mark Twain | Self-Reliance Quotes

Make it a point to do something every day that you don't want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
- Mark Twain | One Day Quotes

Go to bed early, get up early-this is wise.
- Mark Twain | Evenings Quotes

Lord save us all from ... a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
- Mark Twain | Hope Quotes

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
- Mark Twain | Hope Quotes

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain | Role Models Quotes

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
- Mark Twain | Creating Positive Change Quotes

We are chameleons, and our partialities and prejudices change place with an easy and blessed facility.
- Mark Twain | Creating Positive Change Quotes

There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency, and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency, and a vice.
- Mark Twain | Creating Positive Change Quotes

Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your conviction is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may.
- Mark Twain | Decisions Quotes

Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
- Mark Twain | Motivation Quotes

From his cradle to the grave, a man never does a single thing which has any first and foremost object save one-to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for himself.
- Mark Twain | Goals Quotes

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
- Mark Twain | Worry Quotes

Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
- Mark Twain | Risks Quotes

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear.
- Mark Twain | Courage Quotes

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
- Mark Twain | Getting Going Quotes

Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident.
- Mark Twain | Luck Quotes

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
- Mark Twain | Opportunity Quotes

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
- Mark Twain | Work Quotes

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
- Mark Twain | Work Quotes

Necessity is the mother of "taking chances."
- Mark Twain | Adversity Quotes

Love is a madness; if thwarted it develops fast.
- Mark Twain | Beginnings Quotes

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.
- Mark Twain | Companionship Quotes

Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
- Mark Twain | Companionship Quotes

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain | Family Quotes

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
- Mark Twain | Lighten up Quotes

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
- Mark Twain | Lighten up Quotes

It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
- Mark Twain | Openers and Introductions Quotes

Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
- Mark Twain | Openers and Introductions Quotes

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
- Mark Twain | Birthdays and Age Quotes

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain | Business Quotes

Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain | Character Quotes

He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.
- Mark Twain | Character Quotes

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death.
- Mark Twain | Cities and Travel Quotes

I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he said: "Yes: the little one does."
- Mark Twain | Cities and Travel Quotes

In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their own language.
- Mark Twain | Cities and Travel Quotes

You can tell German wine from vinegar ... by the label.
- Mark Twain | Eat, Drink, and Be Merry Quotes

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
- Mark Twain | Eat, Drink, and Be Merry Quotes

There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
- Mark Twain | Friendship Quotes

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
- Mark Twain | Life and Death Quotes

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
- Mark Twain | Men and Women Quotes

It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him.
- Mark Twain | Mothers and Fathers Quotes

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain | Mothers and Fathers Quotes

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spenser is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I'm not feeling so well myself.
- Mark Twain | Professions and Work Quotes

Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
- Mark Twain | Religion Quotes

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain | Religion Quotes

I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion.
- Mark Twain | Vices and Foibles Quotes

Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that nobody had said it before him.
- Mark Twain | Thank-yous and Closures Quotes

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